For those of you who are new to my page (which would be everyone since I'm just getting it started) let me tell you a little about myself. I'm a thirty-something new mom again. I say again because its been 7 years since I've had a newborn in the house. Most days I feel like a first time mom instead of one with a little experience under my belt! I don't have a career or job I go to outside the home, I am a full-time, stay-at-home mom. I really don't like using these terms because we are ALL full-time moms but for the sake of labels, these are mine. I'm a coupon-clipping, mini-van driving, grammatically challenged, occasionally crazy, wine drinking mama (I don't do all of these at the same time of course, although that does paint a funny picture). I'm a little controlling at times with a touch of OCD & anxiety but aren't most mothers this way? I mean that is how we get stuff done after-all!
This page will be a hodgepodge of information. So, I'm almost positive you'll find something to relate to among my posts. Be warned that I am not a good speller. I've actually come along way from how I use to be (thank you spell-check) but please try to overlook those errors if you're one of those people who are easily bothered by that. I'm hear to reveal my flaws, all the things that make us human. I love humor and the use of sarcasm. So, the wittier the better!
I'm on some new journeys this year. We recently found out that our 7 year daughter is considered "gifted". Of course some of you might only see that as being good news, as we did at first, however, we are slowly realizing this has MANY challenges that go along with it. I don't even like using the term "gifted" because it sounds very elitist, which we are not! It puts people on the defense most of the time and makes some uncomfortable but unfortunetly that seems to be the universal word used. I'll write separate posts about this issue for those that are interested.
My other journey is being a new mother again. Some of the new things she'll be doing I'm excited about, like when she'll tell me she loves me for the first time. However, other things like, potty-training, I could definitely do without. I'll occasionally share some advice on things that work for me and hopefully you'll find it useful. I'll always be honest and "real" so there's the chance I may offend. However, lets try to use humor and not take ourselves to seriously.
I'm also on a new spiritual journey too. I found a new Christian church that I enjoy going to and I even enrolled in a bible class there last fall. It wasn't the kind of class where women in bonnets sat around reading the bible while humming church hymns. Really, some people have weird perceptions of these types of groups! In all seriousness, I met 9 other amazing women who shared their life experiences with me. There's something comforting in knowing that other people have been through similar situations as you have. I guess there's safety in numbers right? There will be no preaching or judging done here by me though. Like I read on a bumper sticker one time, God is my pilot, I'm only the co-pilot. I use to think it was a corny saying but when we realize there is someone right next to us, guiding us and loving us, somehow the ride becomes a little less difficult.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Friday, September 3, 2010
My Sunshine
The leaves seemed to begin to fall earlier this year. It was still August but it already knew that summer was ending. School was about to begin and the days were starting to get noticeably shorter. Windows can now be left open to welcome in the autumn air. This year was different though. My daughter was going off to school for the first time. Her clothes in her closet were getting bigger and bigger with each passing season and there was no way to stop it. I looked forward to laying in bed with her at night. She still needed me there and wanted me there. Her voice was still high pitched and her words were sweet as she said goodnight. I didn't know how much longer I had before it would start to change. Would it begin gradually or happen suddenly? We thoroughly enjoy the months of summer because we know that spectacular time will eventually come to an end. When Fall is about to arrive we are able to predict it because we know what signs to look for. The trees no longer needs it's leaves and the flowers no longer need the sun. Is that how it is when our children grow? Has everything before now been our summer and a new season is about to begin? I guess it's already began. The list of the things she use to need me to do is starting to become shorter. It's no longer the words of mama, dadda, ball and cat. Instead it's "I can do it" and "let me!" Learning to walk is now replaced by learning how to tie her shoes. All of the same things we were taught but now it's different when you are the one teaching. You are reminded of your own childhood when you become apart of theirs. I am more aware of the fact that my mother and grandmother were also young women who cared for their children the same way I do. It is an indescribable joy that is only understood by the other women who lived through the same seasons. No matter how cold it gets, I will always be warmed by my sunshine.
Relationships and cake batter
I have always been intrigued by other peoples relationships. I want to understand why they choose their specific partner and what motivates them to continue these relationships? We have all sat at a distance and gossiped about our friends and their mate. Dissecting their problems under a microscope while conveniently overlooking our own. After they've shared their problems with us we somehow convince ourselves that if they saw it our way and took our advice, they would live a blissful life. We can't understand why they won't leave and why they settle for meritocracy. We boldly say that "we" would never stand for that but who knows, maybe "we" would. There are so many reasons why people choose to stay in relationships. You can try to give advice but it really doesn't matter. People only do what they want to do, period.
Some people don't realize that there is a very specific recipe that needs to be followed if their relationship is ever going to succeed. Things just don't "happen". There is a thought process that begins only when you are mature enough to understand it. What are our expectations? Does this person posses any of the attributes we want or is it possible they could ever rise to them? Of course logic is not the first thing that surfaces when we meet someone but there are things always being revealed to us in the beginning. Very important things that most people don't hold as relevant. We are initially pulled into an emotional realm where long term potential is secondary to the momentary pleasure. It is only later, after life begins to settle, that we begin to see it from a different angle. This is the only window of time that its possible to detach yourself from the relationship and not loose too much emotionally. The mistake a lot of people make is they begin to overlook the obvious differences that can't be changed. Questionable things that are intuition tells us is off balance. We forge forward, investing more time, more emotions, more of ourselves. The mere fact that the relationship isn't doing well is what drives us to fix it. Sometimes it won't be fixed and can't be fixed but we keep fighting anyways. It's our instincts to survive and to protect what's ours that keeps us fighting for something that isn't worth winning. We find ourselves trying to bake a cake without all the right ingredients. If you don't have the crucial things that are needed then it's impossible to create it. People confuse it more by having children and then more children, even when they know things aren't right. Homes are bought together and families are intertwined and the unhappiness continues to rise. When does it change? Things are always changing just not always the way we want them to.
Some of the most crucial decisions we make in life are made for us. External things happen that force us to examine our relationships closer and then make the proper adjustments. It isn't until the affair reveals itself right in front of us that we are forced to look at it. Before that the assumptions were there but we just didn't want to acknowledge it because then we would have change the dysfunction we've become use to.
Few people ever find authentic happiness in their lives. Some of them don't know how to feel it alone. They have a distorted belief they need someone else to give it to them. Fear of being alone is too overwhelming for them so they settle. They never really know who or what was meant to make them completely happy and content. Chaos is never comfortable nor is it meant to be apart of your relationships. Some of us make these bad relationship choices when we are younger and that makes it even more difficult to get out. They lack the life experiences that are needed to help them know what they truly want and deserve. When there are more differences present in the beginning than similarities, then they are already starting out with the wind blowing at their faces instead of behind them. Why make the walk anymore difficult then it has to be? Maturity and wisdom is necessary before love can have the strongest chance. Everything before that is just suppose to be leading you towards finding it.
There are a few who find something beautiful and somehow the ingredients are all there for us to work with. We are able to mix them together and watch it slowly rise. It is only then we are able to enjoy the most delicious cake we've ever baked.
Some people don't realize that there is a very specific recipe that needs to be followed if their relationship is ever going to succeed. Things just don't "happen". There is a thought process that begins only when you are mature enough to understand it. What are our expectations? Does this person posses any of the attributes we want or is it possible they could ever rise to them? Of course logic is not the first thing that surfaces when we meet someone but there are things always being revealed to us in the beginning. Very important things that most people don't hold as relevant. We are initially pulled into an emotional realm where long term potential is secondary to the momentary pleasure. It is only later, after life begins to settle, that we begin to see it from a different angle. This is the only window of time that its possible to detach yourself from the relationship and not loose too much emotionally. The mistake a lot of people make is they begin to overlook the obvious differences that can't be changed. Questionable things that are intuition tells us is off balance. We forge forward, investing more time, more emotions, more of ourselves. The mere fact that the relationship isn't doing well is what drives us to fix it. Sometimes it won't be fixed and can't be fixed but we keep fighting anyways. It's our instincts to survive and to protect what's ours that keeps us fighting for something that isn't worth winning. We find ourselves trying to bake a cake without all the right ingredients. If you don't have the crucial things that are needed then it's impossible to create it. People confuse it more by having children and then more children, even when they know things aren't right. Homes are bought together and families are intertwined and the unhappiness continues to rise. When does it change? Things are always changing just not always the way we want them to.
Some of the most crucial decisions we make in life are made for us. External things happen that force us to examine our relationships closer and then make the proper adjustments. It isn't until the affair reveals itself right in front of us that we are forced to look at it. Before that the assumptions were there but we just didn't want to acknowledge it because then we would have change the dysfunction we've become use to.
Few people ever find authentic happiness in their lives. Some of them don't know how to feel it alone. They have a distorted belief they need someone else to give it to them. Fear of being alone is too overwhelming for them so they settle. They never really know who or what was meant to make them completely happy and content. Chaos is never comfortable nor is it meant to be apart of your relationships. Some of us make these bad relationship choices when we are younger and that makes it even more difficult to get out. They lack the life experiences that are needed to help them know what they truly want and deserve. When there are more differences present in the beginning than similarities, then they are already starting out with the wind blowing at their faces instead of behind them. Why make the walk anymore difficult then it has to be? Maturity and wisdom is necessary before love can have the strongest chance. Everything before that is just suppose to be leading you towards finding it.
There are a few who find something beautiful and somehow the ingredients are all there for us to work with. We are able to mix them together and watch it slowly rise. It is only then we are able to enjoy the most delicious cake we've ever baked.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)